In the November Careers and Coffee session a main theme of the conversation that continued to present itself was the concept of knowing when to stop helping your military-affiliated students.

In the profession of helping military-affiliated students the idea of NOT helping a student seems to go against every reason and ambition of joining the profession.

However, as we discussed in the session, there are a number of reasons to stop helping your military-affiliated population and knowing when to stop helping is actually key in your success as a student success professional.

1. Stop helping military-affiliated students when they become reliant on emergency supports and become continually expectant of your support. The examples discussed here revolved around students becoming dependent on temporary support structures, like gift cards for groceries and hotel night stays. Both of these support structures are set in place for struggling students who need temporary or emergency support. But if the student is not taking steps to get their own footing, and continually comes to you asking for the support without evidence of trying to establish new footings, you cannot continue to give emergency support to these students. The discussants mentioned that ultimately you are preparing these students for the civilian world after they finish university, and the supports you provide are likely not available outside of the university setting.

2. Stop helping military-affiliated students when you are not qualified to help them. The examples discussed here revolved around mental health and counseling services. As student success professionals in the military-affiliated space, it can be difficult to guide a student away from you, someone they trust, and towards other campus resources. However, it is imperative for their health, and yours, if you are not qualified to take on mental health and subsequent emergencies.

3. Stop helping military-affiliated students when they are monopolizing your time and energy. There will always be students who need more help than others. However, the example here revolved around one student monopolizing the director's time and energy to the point where the director was unable to truly help and guide other students. Again, it can be difficult to say, "I can't help you today, I need to meet with other students" but this is imperative for the greater success of all your students.

Looking to join in on conversations like these? Join us in our monthly Careers and Coffee sessions. There will be no session in December but keep an eye out for the January session invite in HigherEdMilitary newsletters and social media.