Imagine being married to an active-duty service member, having to manage an entire household yourself, earning your degree, and holding down a part- or full-time job.

Life wouldn't just revolve around getting good grades or being able to pay for classes. Add into the mix, the isolation and complexity of dealing with problems on your own, facing the prospect of moving the family from military base to military base, if you are even permitted to relocate with your spouse, and not knowing when, or even if, your active-duty service member will return from a deployment.

Kind of like trying to climb the jagged edge of a mountain top in a pair of worn-out sneakers.

But every day, spouses of service members attend college classes (either on-ground or virtually), earn their degrees, and take one more significant step forward toward launching a successful career. Just ask Jessica Strong, who met her husband about a month before he joined the Army.

They have been married 17 years, have three children, ages 14, 12, and 9, and her husband, who has been deployed seven times, has one more scheduled mobilization coming up.

Have any of these obstacles stood in Jessica's way of working toward her degree? The answer is, absolutely not. In fact, "Dr. Strong," as she is now referred; has managed to earn her bachelor's and master's degrees, before graduating with a PhD in 2013.

"I started the PhD program when my oldest was six weeks old," Jessica said, adding, "I got my acceptance in the doctoral program after I found out that I was pregnant. By the time I graduated, I had a toddler and another baby; we had relocated to Fort Liberty, and my husband was deployed."

Relocating is a really common challenge for military spouses completing their education, Dr. Strong said.

Another issue that is common among military spouses is having to start over, each time they change locations. That often means losing credits and having to repeat essential classes.

"By the time they get their bachelor's degree; sometimes they have 30 or 40 credits that do not apply, because the schools have different requirements or the students change their degrees."

Now that Dr. Strong has earned her doctorate, she works as Senior Director of Applied Research for Blue Star Families; a national nonprofit organization that supports military families in the communities where they live. One of Blue Star's goals is to facilitate a sense of belonging for these families and help them be resilient.

Juan Garcia, a retired Army Veteran and former military police officer, who earned his master's degree in Social Work during the pandemic from the University of Southern California (USC), agreed about the difficulties that pursuing a degree can place upon a marital relationship; particularly, when one of the spouses faces a possible deployment.

"Being a student, your education is your personal goal," said Garcia, who works as a Peer Support Program Coordinator for U.S.VETS-Patriotic Hall. Among the programs U.S.VETS offers is "Outside the Wire," specifically designed to help student veterans adjust to college life. It's a free resource offered at many local colleges that provides peer support, access to counseling and wellness groups, benefits and claims assistance, educational workshops, and other resources.

"I would get home and clocked into my second life, which is being a husband, a father," Garcia said. "It is emotionally draining, because the clock just doesn't stop there."

Garcia has completed a total of eight combat deployments. And he says, the key to getting through the educational process with one spouse deployed is to focus on collaboration.

"Maintaining relationships with a spouse on active duty creates time demands that can make it hard to study," he said. "That is where communication is essential."

Being on the front lines means facing additional obstacles as well; not the least of which is trying to load an assignment on the "wonky" internet that won't go through.

"If a paper was due, especially when I was stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan; it was nighttime where I was, and daytime in the U.S. So, if we were trying to submit papers, homework, or contact our professors, there would always be a delayed response.

"All of those things are barriers to us," Garcia added.

Based on his experiences, the retired Army veteran offers his input about how to turn this situation around, so that more military learners feel supported during the educational process, no matter where they are located; while trying to pursue their degrees. Here are some of his main ideas:

• First and foremost; the military needs to establish some kind of support system for the active-duty service member who is going to college, by making sure there is enough time allotted to complete school assignments.
• Second, schools and the military need to maintain an up-to-date list of resources where the spouse of the active-duty service member can go in the community or on the college campus, to get support.
• Third; a concentrated effort must be made to open a direct line of communication between the student, the military assigned unit, and the college.

"Having a community within the unit itself helps the military learner have a place to go, and a way to support each other. You trust the people you are with."

Garcia said that he often felt safer in combat, than returning home from a deployment to do his schoolwork, because he had more control over his life.

"Every time I came back, I lost a friend to the hands of somebody else, or to suicide," he said.

Executive Director of U.S.VETS Patriotic Hall program, Robert Stohr, completely understands how Garcia feels. His organization specializes in suicide prevention, and houses both advocacy and career programs.

"Suicide is the second leading cause of death among veterans, ages 18-29 years, and older veterans are still more at risk than the general population," said the licensed marriage and family therapist, who has 12 years of working in suicide prevention. He accepted the position with U.S. VETS, because he realized how serious this issue was, and that, as recently as 10 to 12 years ago, no one was dealing with it.

Agreed Garcia, "A lot of times, believe it or not, we just don't identify as active-duty service members; we stay quiet, because we want to blend in. I went for my master's in my 40s; and it was harder for me to retain information."

But, he added, the ultimate goal he had when completing his coursework from the battlefield, was simply to fit in.

"I just wanted to be normal in class," he said.

Jessica affirmed that there needs to be more higher ed support for spouses of deployed service members as they deal with issues related to getting their degrees, while managing a long-distance relationship that requires ongoing negotiations about issues affecting home life, children, if they are part of the picture; and going through frequent transitions while trying to get their needs met.

Article Topics

Military Friendly Institutions Serving Military in HigherEd Veterans Academic Success Workplace Inclusion

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